Even if you weren’t planning on having children, learning that you’re suddenly infertile is an experience that can wreak havoc on your emotions. Somehow you feel as though you’re less of a woman or perhaps no longer sexy; as if a very integral part of you has died.
You try to share your feelings with friends or family, but early or premature menopause is something that few others understand. Like suffering a miscarriage or the death of a parent, unless someone has gone through it, they just can’t comprehend how emotionally devastating and upsetting early menopause can be.
Because early menopause is often unexpected, women who experience it are more at risk for depression than are older women who are approaching or experiencing symptoms of menopause. Women who are faced with early menopause as a result of surgery are often even more devastated due to the fact that they’ve not only gone through a major surgery, but a big part of who they believe they were is suddenly gone.
No matter what the reason for early menopause, all women who experience it – both mothers and career women – feel a profound loss and a significant amount of grief, shock and disbelief. These feelings won’t disappear right away; as a matter of fact, there’s a healing process that most women must go through before they begin to accept the fact that they’re experiencing menopause prematurely and much sooner than they would have preferred.
One woman I interviewed for this project says “Once I learned to accept what I had become, I realized there was nothing I could do about it. I finally decided that I would do the best I could to remain young and feel good. What choice did I have?” So, certainly, you will mourn and it will take time, but eventually you will get through this and you will feel better. As a matter of fact, each day will bring less feelings of despair and time will bring you back to your old self – determined, strong and capable; perhaps even more so than before.
One of the first steps to returning to the old you is by looking in the mirror and seeing how you really are still yourself. Your youthful appearance is still intact; as a matter of fact, all of you is still intact. Yes, your reproductive system is not working the way it should, but you’re still a wonderful, young and vibrant woman with so much potential and so much to offer.
By: Susan Megge
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